a blog in which i do not throw up all over you

It has been a long week here in New Mexico. Late Tuesday night I woke up to Gage throwing up which lasted throughout the rest of the week. I phoned Gage's pediatrician at 5 am yesterday to ask what I should do and the only advice the nurse gave me was, "Stay Home". That's right. Without a fever, even if he has a diarrhea and been throwing up for 4 days the even worse alternative to being sick was actually going to the doctor to find out why. There are so many sick children and adults that hospitals have no become a den of filth and germs and if you seem at all healthy in any way they are urging you to stay away from them. Scary. The nurse said that in 14 years of being a nurse she had never seen as bad a a flu season as this, and it is just getting started. The nurse said we probably have a G.I. Virus which should go away in roughly 14 days. She gave me all the information to keep him hydrated and healthy and hung up. This morning when Gage woke up, no vomiting. So hopefully we are through the worst of this.

Anywho. Just thought I would keep all the lovely friends posted on Gage. I have been so thankful for the support from my friends this week I really have the best friend's that money can buy.

We are off to see some of the Parade of Homes houses today and to enjoy the beautiful fall day here in New Mexico. The 74 degree weather is just what I need after 5 days of lock down. I think that Gage needs to get out of the house too before he starts scratching at the door and screaming obscenities. In honor of my little guy feeling better today I leave you with this adorable picture. I can't believe how fast he is growing up (eventually I will get a better pic of his shoes. I bought him the sweetest Puma's ever.)

i love the feeling of cold in the morning

Dear Fall : Do not tell spring, summer, or winter, but you are my favorite season of all. I even love you more than I love allspice. You smell good, your temperatures are simply glorious, your color changes are aesthetically pleasing, and your lighting is on par with everything that makes me happy and makes my son sleep better. You make stepping out of the house enjoyable and I take full advantage of all that you provide in the short months that you are here. I will never cheat on you. Yes, spring is nice and all, but it is no fall. You will never have to fear a waver in my devotion. <3>

The last few weekends here in The Land of Disenchantment have been downright perfect. With the change of temperature we have been able to enjoy outside adventures a lot more and are able to get out and play a lot. Fall invigorates me and puts me in a very ‘get up and go’ type of attitude. Weekend after weekend I have found myself taking Gage on a new adventure to explore our town. Last weekend we drove up to the top of the Sandia mountains to take in the breathtaking view of the entire city of Albuquerque and this weekend we wandered around the pumpkin patch and played with baby farm animals. Gage fed baby horses corn and squealed in delight as the sweet baby animals took his offering. I am really looking forward to taking him trick or treating on Halloween.

The news reports of seemingly healthy kids passing away after contracting H1N1 have me nervous and grateful at the same time. Grateful, because my mother watches Gage while I am at school and I do not have to put him into the petri dish that is daycare, but still nervous because there always is a chance of contracting the flu for me and I would hate to pass it on to Gage. We will both be getting the vaccination. I know that it has been kind of a joke and a scare, but when it comes down to any sort of risk for my son the laughing stops and I get in serious Mama Mode. Hand washing will be ramped up to the max and, if an outbreak hits hard here in New Mexico, the answer will be a lockdown from social settings for the kiddo until it eases. I take him being sick very seriously, but that is also the reason that in his almost 2 years he has only had 3 light colds and nothing else.

I am probably ramping up to a blog about all things politics, but in an effort to keep my promises to Mel, I thought I would update. Pictures to be added to my Flickr as soon as I have the time to go through the 1000 plus pictures of the last month. I haven’t had much time. LoL. OH! And before I forget … Gage said “ball” yesterday. He was running around the yard chasing balls with the dogs and working on saying the word as he picked them up. What an awesome little guy he is. :)

At the punkin patch

Feeding the Baby Horse

Uncle June and Gage at Sandia Crest

to mel : with love

My best friend, Mel, took to FaceBook the other day to remind me that my slacking knows no bounds and I haven’t updated my blog for oh … forever. She is right. She is always right. Not only is she always right, but she is beautiful and funny and my favorite person in the world. Melinda, can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I sure hope so. I just can’t find another best friend … better than you do not exist. I am sorry for slacking.

It is high time to do an update on all things Kri, though. Between 18 credit hours of school, a toddler that really likes showing me why they call it “the terrible twos”, being sick, having a life, and my serious addiction to Twitter, I just really haven’t had any time to write more than 140 characters at a time. I will try today. I will do it for Mel.

We will start with school. This semester is by far my favorite one that I have had so far. I am starting to readapt back into all that is educational society and this semester I am actually *GASP!* making friends. I have had a tendency to keep to myself at school, but I am branching out and I love it. I have earned the nicknames “jiu-jitsu!” and “tapout!” from the guys around campus and always crack up when they scream it out to get my attention. I spend a lot of my time at school laughing and learning all of the awesome things I can. I especially love my Modern Music Appreciation class. We get to listen to classical music at high volumes and I get a grade for that. Awesome!! I am actually digging math, too, but I am sure that’s because the people have come to be my friends in there and we spend the entire class laughing and talking.

Personal life is great. I am loving being single and have taken advantage of flirt mode quite a bit lately. I have a very busy life right now as it is and am happy to not have any relationship complications involved in that. Eventually one of these days I will accept a date request, but only if the person asking uses the following words, “Hey! You want to go bowling?” Because yes, I DO want to go bowling. Not just because that is where you take skin heads, but because I love balls. I love keeping balls out of the gutter. Do you see what I just did there? If not, see me after class.

My new favorite slack tool is the show, Glee. I am back on a diet after ignoring mine for a few minutes and am hoping to lose my last 5 pounds in the next few weeks so I can feel awesome again. Lottery numbers keep not matching up to mine. I am completely obsessed with politics and I love talking about them. I couldn’t be happier that it is fall; it is my favorite smell and my favorite feeling. All the colors in the Bosque are starting to turn and New Mexico looks beautiful. The only thing I miss about summer is my garden. I have loved using all the fresh veggies to cook with this summer. I am going to miss the Farmer’s Market and I am sure Gage is going to have an unholy freak out over the season turning.

Gage is amazing and opinionated and strong and everything that is right with this world. He prefers to not use words in order to communicate, but he believes that the effectiveness of violently pointing at what he wants and screaming at me is the correct way to go about getting what he wants. Lately I have started a showdown at the battle of words with him and it has resulted in a meltdown or two. He has said, “Mama” “Dog Dog” “Papa” “BaBa” “Ball” and “Nana”

but if you ask him to say those things again he gets this evil smile on his face and reverts to moans and hand gestures. He understands complex instructions and is able to carry out multiple tasks at once. He can catch a ball 50 percent of the time and loves playing basketball with the hoop that Uncle June bought him. Gage loves to discipline the dogs, pick tomatoes from the garden, read books, dance, run around like a wild man, and laugh. He is brilliant and very opinionated. Gage wants what Gage wants and if he does not get it he is not afraid to let you know just how angry he is.

The other day Gage and I were shopping and I was doing my usual back and forth with him where I consult him on decisions. The complex debate was over marinades and their effective use on chicken. I told him to pick one and he handed it to me and said “Here, Mama.” That was the first time he has ever spoken to me and my heart melted. He has also started to give the kind of hugs where he expects to be enveloped in the warmth of my arms and returns the affection with happiness and every time he does it I am floored by the amount of love I feel. Life can be incredibly hectic and some weeks it feels as if time will never slow down and that the stress will get the best of me. The start of the season Gage and I were both sick, he was teething, sleeping roughly 3 hours a night and I was trying to get through a week of tests and papers and everything inside a Pre-Gage Kri would have had a meltdown of iconic proportions, but instead I stayed home as often as I could. Lied in bed and watched morning cartoons with him while the poor thing sniffled and sneezed. And I felt nothing but an over-all love for this life. I wouldn’t change the days or the nights for anything in this world.

In closing, Mel, I miss you more than words could ever say. I am currently working on my machine what will transport us without airlines and we will be able to go to dinner whenever we want no matter which state we are in. I will bring the Pacifico with lime if you bring The Mel. I am also saving my pennies for Mexico. I will try to remember to update this more often. Make Seth give you a hug from me and give the puppies a little scratch and a treat from me as well. To the 3 people including Mel that read my blog, you can trust me when I tell you that my best friend is an amazingly strong and beautiful woman and that if you knew here you would look up to her, too, because she is just that wonderful. <3

growing pains

Today's dating advice comes from a thread entitled : "he said we were growing apart" shortygirl's heart is breaking and she knows that the best place to go for advice is on the internet. I was there to help her out and now I am here to share that help with you.

Shortygirl says :

"I talked to my boyfriend because he has been really distant from me. After finally begging him to tell me the truth he said that he was unhappy and that we were growing apart... We have been together for almost 3 years and i have been there thru thick and thin. I asked him what was he unhappy with. He said it was because i bring stuff up from the past. Well if you count the past as 5 days ago then ok. he has "cheated" on me twice in the past 3 weeks. And that is what i keep bringing it up. He technically didnt cheat because he was only talking to girls about fucking them and all that but still. It still broke my heart and i dont know what i should do or say to him. Please help me... I love him so much and what hurts the most is he told me YESTERDAY that he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life but now he told me that he KINDA meant it... so what do i say?"

My helpful advice is as follows :

Definitely stay. I think at 19 years old you are in an amazing place to form the kind of forever commitment this boy really needs. Plus, there is no way in hell he is actually screwing around behind your back and those messages to girls were quite obviously just an accident and emotionally cheating on someone doesn’t count even if they weren’t. Everyone knows that the best type of men are the ones that makes you feel bad about yourself and then blame you for feeling bad, but then are there to pick you back up again only to remind you that they are only doing so because you are desperate and needy, but did I mention you look pretty today and let’s spend forever together, today. Life is a circle, why shouldn’t relationships be? Besides, as you mentioned you definitely love him. Co-dependency is so healthy, like the double down sandwich from KFC or the meth habit he will probably pick up when the two of you move into your trailer because you conveniently stopped using birth control because that is an effective way of keeping him forever. Much like the double down this relationship can come with sides and the drama you need to maintain your emotional instability is definitely the side to this relationship sandwich. Make sure when you inevitably start checking his phone or email every 5 seconds as a way to combat that nasty side of trepidation you do so when he isn’t looking. But when you bring it up later because you just can’t stand the pain remember this; it’s all your fault. No really, it is.

you're welcome.

In an effort to make this world a better place I will now, at random, offer you dating advice based on the questions posed by the lonely people that inhabit the land of The Dating Forums. I like forums because desperate people ask adorable little questions. In order to capitalize on other people's desperation and fragility I am going to share my advice to them, with you. You're welcome.

Today's question comes from username Brimbly :

What would you do if your girlfriend gave you the ultimatum of getting married or else?

Advice from love doctor Kri :

I think you should do it. I think that forcing someone's hand into marriage is the proper way to start a life-long commitment. Nothing says I am not psychotic and clingy like a person that really is. Reverse psychology, really. Plus, you know if you shoot her down she is going to have one last night with you, forget to take her pill, and then BLAMO! She’s got you on lock lock for eternity because your conscience just won’t tell the bitch to get an abortion like you should. And, if for some reason she is infertile or your boys just don’t feel like swimming that day, you know the bitch is a bunny burner and your next girlfriend better watch her back when swimming in public pools late at night under the low lights of your local YMCA. Seriously, why doesn’t the bitch join a synchronized swimming group, that way you know she is at least in good company? But it will be too late for the advice train and suddenly you’ll find yourself stuck in one of those long couches at the psychologist’s office just trying to figure out where you went wrong and you’ll shed a tear because you realize that if you would have just married her then fucked around behind her back, this never would have happened.

remember to bring your mace to our date

as a female, there exists a magic button on the internet. when you click this button you have the power to bring the craziest, most ruhtarded people out of the wood works because suddenly it might be possible that you want to talk to them. this button is the one that pronounces to the world of teh intertubes that you are, 'single'. fat, lazy, stupid, insane, serving parole, wanted for murder ... you get the drift. they all want just a minute of your time in hope that they might in fact sell themselves in such a way that you might possibly be interested in coffee with a side of date rape. teh intertubes are full of some of the most frightening people i have ever had the displeasure of being stalked by. what i am waiting for is the one, true email that really gets to the heart of what all these psychos are trying to say -

"meet me in a dark alley for drinks i promise i won't rape you bring a gag and some duct tape i am low on $$ Oh UR Pretty have good day"

i hope we get to drive around in his stolen car.

a blog in which i am not sleeping or studying

I can’t study. I can’t sleep. I have all of these emotions running through my brain and none of them are centered on a bunch of dead people that think they figured out the meaning to life when they are all just ridiculously staunch elitists. Their ideas aren’t smart, or radical, or legendary, they are just their way of thinking. I am not going to conform how I feel, I am not going to follow their ideals just because they can write well or because they think they know more than me. In fact, during this entire class I never read one single fucking piece of philosophy that was written by a 28 year old single mother that was going to school and trying to make the best of her life so her and her son could have an amazing future together. What the fuck does that old white son of a bitch know about being me?

This morning, like almost all mornings I have had for 18 months, I woke up to the sound of my son crying out to come into bed for our morning ritual of lying our heads on the same pillow and sleeping for at least twenty more minutes. As he has aged, this ritual always ends with him kicking me in the face and then laughing. When I respond to his laughter with a tickle, he will slam his forehead into mine, his version of giving ‘love’. This feeling, the forehead to forehead devotion of love, makes everything in the world slow to a halt and nothing bad exists because everything is that moment. I feel the same way when he rushes into my arms to hug me goodbye, or when he cries out in fear and gives me the pleasure of comforting him.

I was standing outside moments ago, taking in the joy that is Summer Evening (morning, midnight to be exact) and I was overcome with this feeling of beauty. There were stars and the moon was so bright- a light breeze took everything stale from the air and left in its place all the aromas of the world around me. Do you know how beautiful the world smells at midnight? Not anywhere close to the smell of a small child, but it has that same devastating effect on one’s emotions. I was trying to find my motivation to study these old guy’s words, but all I found was a feeling of pure love. I realized that as soon as I walked in my home I was going to perch myself in front of my computer in a room that is a wall away from my beautiful sleeping boy and I was going to wait happily until the hours passed so he would wake up and I could live this life again. This life, the one where I get the amazing role of Mother, is philosophy.

In the last 12 weeks I have read ideals that have far reaching ranges. I have agreed, I have disagreed, I have pondered, and occasionally I have thoroughly enjoyed, but I never felt a complete connection. I realized tonight, starring up at the sky, that my philosophy is embodied around my son. Not just because I am a Mother, but because I get to see his innocence and his fragility on a daily basis. I get to see how he uncovers the world around him with careful hands and precise movements. I get to see the moment where he cracks the code, where he gets what he has tried so hard to understand, and I get to be there to share that smile and return that laugh. Every philosophy I have read is based around what people are doing wrong, what they could do better, but never around what they are doing right. You want truth? Reality? Existence? Look no further than an 18 month old child exploring the world around them.

My philosophy and my beliefs are set up around life and the reality of living it. Am I going to make mistakes? Absolutely. Will there be regret and frustration? Of course; it’s life! All I can do is be there to live it, to maintain it, and to make the best I can of it because this is all there is. All I am and all I ever will be is a collection of all these moments I get the chance to live. In 6 hours I will awake to the sound of my son and I will smile, because the little moments are the ones worth savoring. I don’t need some old guy to tell me how to live my life, I am living my life and I am doing a damn fine job at it.

surcharge is freedom. pay it.

Gear switch to the political, but an easy one that I just need to momentarily vent upon. To all the so called “birther” conspiracy followers in regards to El Presidente Obama … REALLY!? Really. Do you realize how fucking CRAZY you sound!? Lou Dobbs? I mean, I have never liked you, but I at least thought you were a somewhat intelligent person. I know, for a fact, that you do not believe the bullshit rhetoric you are spewing, but why!? Why would you spread lies you know to be false. I wish that people (of ANY political spectrum) would just grow the fuck up. I see people spreading lies on every side and it makes me sick. Our Nation was founded on the belief that we can, essentially, “agree to disagree”, but in order to do something like that we have to educate ourselves. If you don’t agree with someone, know why you disagree and be able to articulate yourself when it comes down to a conversation. Arguments such as: “you’re rubber, I’m glue”, “I know you are, but what am I”, and “I’m not listening, I’m not listening” are completely invalid. I welcome a healthy debate based on facts, but I find those hard to come by.

Again, I am not slamming one side as I see it from every angle. There is no perfect party and there is no perfect belief. My sister said it best when she said we need to form a sense of “community.” I hope that, no matter what end of the health-care debate you are on, we all can agree that there does need to be a radical change that benefits the people that truly want to contribute to their own well being. I would hope that any American believes that people, who are willing to contribute, and work towards a better society, deserve to be well taken care of and healthy without being anally raped by the system. I do not hide in shame from that fact that I whole heartedly believe in a Single Payer system, but I am willing to listen to anyone that says otherwise. Where the eff did a healthy debate disappear to? Why do certain people feel the need to regress to slam tactics and name calling?

My frustrations, but I remain hopeful.

boring, but not bitching

Things are quiet and calm here in House of Kri. RugRat is currently grubbing down on some ChefBoyardee, O and I are discussing college football, and June is resting peacefully in the backyard reading this month’s issue of Gracie Magazine. I couldn’t be more content or calm. Later today we are headed out on a mission for Teflon tape, Director’s cut ofWatchmen, and delicious StarBucks coffee.

This morning I browned up some boneless country style ribs, and threw them in the crock-pot. On top of the ribs I placed some homemade green chili salsa, some *very* browned onions (on purpose) that were browned with dried red chili, oregano, and at the last minute, some garlick. I deglazed my browning pan with a 12 ounce beer and threw that in the crock-pot as well to give it the last of the liquids it needed to cook. I usually make my ribs with the green chili salsa, tomatoes, and spicy v8, but I felt like a change. I will let you know how they work out. I am going to pair the ribs with some rice cooked in chicken broth with green onions and fresh parsley. Yummy.

RugRat learned how to climb on the couches (he already knew how to get off of them) by himself this week; which is terrifying, but eventual. I can’t believe how mobile and able he is at such a young age. He turns a year and a half in just a few weeks and I almost have a sense of “where the hell did all that time go!?” People always told me that children grow up fast, but you have no idea until you live through it. Now if the little sandbagger would just talk. ;)

Anywho, just thought I would give an update that wasn’t full of bitching. Things are going great here today. :)

speaking from the night

Hello, Intertubes.

I want you to know that my lack of updating is not, in any way, directly related to my lack of love for you. I love you, intertubes. I love you as much as I love McDonald’s ice cream cones, which is a lot. McDonald’s soft serve vanilla style makes all other ice creams second class frozen treats. If I could actually make a diet plan that rallied my dietician needs around that which is a small cone, I would. Diet Coke, I love you, too.

How is my life, you ask? Well, it is a personal conundrum mixed in a bag of political conundrums, with a great big side of WTFBBQ? There are many things that I can and will not say on such a readable format, but I will say that life has a way of making you question the humanization of that which is reality. I have, as of late, questioned how dehumanized we have become and why certain people feel such a need to suck the morrow from everything good our society should be. Blanket. Statements. Ahoy. (You’re Welcome.)

RugRat is doing AMAZING. Gage is trying so hard to speak, but is still only uttering the word ‘Mama’ and other than that he “RAWRS” like a dinosaur and barks like a dog. Gage is climbing on everything he can find and is a champ at getting into everything he can possibly find. He is such a loving little boy and will give hugs if you ask him, as long as you say ‘please’. When I leave for school every day he will give me a hug and then he runs to the window to blow me kisses and wave goodbye as I walk to my car. An ice queen’s heart is able to melt, so very quickly, when in the midst of the love of a child. I am blessed to be a mother and every day I am thankful that he is here and that I am able to take care of him. I feel for Single Mom’s everywhere, but I also know that we are thankful. I know that being a mother is not for everyone, but for those that want to be; it is an amazing feeling that cannot be replicated.

In terms of politics, I am engrossed in everything. I want to stay (mostly) off of my soapbox this evening, but I find it hard to believe that people cannot understand the benefits of socializing health care. I read the arguments, some of them I can even empathize with, but we have to take care of our nation on a greater level then just saying we want to take care of them. Listen, righters, I get that change is scary, but it’s time to make a few changes. I don’t care if you hate Obama, don’t believe he was born in this country (you fucking whackos, you), or feel like having a black president is wrong (you fucking RACIST, you) but you CANNOT deny that everyone is entitled to health care. Every month I pay a premium to keep my son insured, but every month I pay that I do so knowing that if something were to happen to him, he wouldn’t be covered. You cannot deny reality when it is bitch slapping you in the face. To say that socialized medicine is wrong is to spread misconceptions and falsities.

Personally, I am well. O is amazing and he and I are doing very well. My family is as wonderful as ever, and aside from the fact that I am really missing my sister lately, I am well. I am lucky to be surrounded by such amazing people with diverse and accepting ideals. I always enjoy a conversation with my family and I look forward to many more as we progress as people. I thank June for continuously answering my calls at night to vent at my frustrations. I am a very fortunate woman to be surrounded by such an intelligent family “base”.

I aplogise (yes, with an S, WHAT WHAT!) that I am unable to communicate myself on a clear and continuous basis lately, but I gots me a lot of shit going on. I hope that you, Intertubes, are doing well and that you find yourselves happy.

Goodnight,

Kri

always put your title last

That silly John Ensign and his ever supportive family and co-political-fuck-faces have me in fits of giggles every time I hear about the shenanigans they have been up to with The Hampton Family. I love that the wall to wall coverage about Michael Jackson is finally gone so we can get back to real news stories and crazy Republicans riding their hate trains into the station of the insane to say things that make no fucking sense what-so-ever. Did you know that with Single Payer you actually have to wait 4 months to get a doctor’s appointment and that people just randomly fall over and die and that the bubonic plague is bound to rise again? Plus, the cost of taking care of everyone is just so expensive! Never mind the realities and truths, the right can make up their own! Clever little GOP, very clever.

Currently in the Land of (dis)Enchantment it is 3:22 pm and I am doing everything I can to bide my time until fight time. UFC 100 promises to have some wonderful fights of sheer awesomeness. If I get my way Mir will take down that ruh-tard non footballer, Lesnar. I hate Lesnar and I fail to see how he even has a shot at the title. This is only his 5^th fight in the UFC and I didn’t know street creds from WWF were that far reaching; I hope he brings his costume. Hendo is my favored vote to bring down Bisbing la Douche and I am completely torn on the Alves / GSP fight; I just hope it is jam packed full of awesomeness. I still think it is hilarious that the 1^st heavyweight title holder, Mark Coleman, is fighting Stephan Bonnar after he got his ass whooped during his last UFC bout. Dud should probably stick to being an inductee via hall of fame instead of trying to prove that the old can mash with the young. To be honest, though, I would really like to see Coleman kick the shit out of Bonnar – I don’t like that guy at all.

The RugRat was taken on his first adventure to the land of locked up animals yesterday and he was thoroughly confused by all of the animals actually existing outside of that which are his books. He was hesitant and irritated by all of the other visitors, but he did well. I am thinking that the next Zoo trip will have to wait until next year when he is old enough to talk and know that, although people being around IS incredibly obnoxious, we just have to put up with it because the world is over-bred with the overly stupid; the stupid that have no concept of space and feel the need to encroach mine at all times. I swear now and before you, dear land of the intertubes, I will raise my child to be the kind of person that puts his grocery cart away, waits until you have finished paying and start walking away before he jumps up to the counter, and doesn’t run around screaming and being a complete fucking pain in the ass. I will raise him with gratitude, respectfulness, and a whole lot of awesome.

I hope ya’ll that are watching the fights enjoy them and that people everywhere wake up tomorrow without the idiot gene, but I know I will only get one of those issues.

i would have seven on it, but yesterday 7 8 9

Tonight was pretty much awesome. My brother, June, has a long time (semi-mutual) friend that came into town and we were able to take him out to a nice Indian Food meal and have a little catch up conversation before he pressed on to Durango, CO to stay in the muddy woods like hippie’s do. After dinner June, O, and I headed back to their house for a few sips of whiskey and a lot of awesome conversation. I feel a great sense of vent-ability with June and O because they are able to listen and discuss without any harshness in terms of disagreement. The three of us can have a conversation, in which none of us agrees with the other, but the conversation always remains civil and we always enjoy ourselves. Tonight’s topic of conversation (dominant that is) was death penalty. I, as a said Liberal, am still (semi) in favor of the death penalty and June is trying to bring me around. We will see. I am always open to opposition or agreement, but since no one reads this damn thing it is hard to ask for comments. (See what I just did right there? See how much I love parentheses?)

I am trying to maintain a slight position away from a soap box this evening because I feel myself being drawn towards voicing how I feel about all things politics. The nice drive forcing me away is the fact that Penn and Teller’s Bull Shit is on, and I am loving the rants about the non-effects of violent video games. If you haven’t had the chance to watch this show on Showtime, you should. Well, if you are open to ideas. And, if you aren’t, why the fuck are you reading this blog. Wait, no one is. (See, I did it again!) HA!

Anywho, The RugRat is doing well. I had his inoculations done and he had his first MMR shot. Turns out the MMR shot gives Gage an M. And by M, I mean a slight case of the Measles. Via research I learned that this only happens to roughly five percent of the children that are given this vaccine leaving me with an overall all feeling of, ‘of fucking course.’ (LoL) RugRat is all better now and, though he doesn’t know it, will be headed towards the Zoo tomorrow with Nana and I for his first excursion to the land of entrapped animals. I hope they are put in small cages so I can look at them! YAY!

Things are going well. UFC 100 is this weekend and my excitement index is reaching somewhat off the charts. I got no complaints. Wait, that’s a lie, but I will save those for my box of soap. Goodnight, Intertubes.

a box o' soap

I have fallen unable to provide an adequate blog update as I have been bitten by the Twitter bug and have spent most of my waking moments obsessing over the sheer idiocy that is American media and politics. I fail to understand how so many people can spend every waking second watching moment by moment coverage of a child molester’s Micheal Jackson’s death. I am so tired of hearing about all things King of Pop. I am angry that extremely necessary social needs, such as public health care (single payer is must *cough* *cough*), are completely ignored. I know that there are people out there that care about so many issues at hand, but they are being drowned out by dumbed-down media and an inability to research their options and speak out for the better of this country.

Meanwhile Sarah Palin is up in Alaska keeping an eye on Russia on quitting her Governing position because people are fucking mean to here. I hate to tell the idiots that love her, but Sarah Palin is a cunt. Palin is a media whore that LOVES to be the victim. She is an incompetent bitch that has somehow amassed a cult following of imbeciles. If she can’t handle running ALASKA, she is in no way fit to be near the White House. I love that she used the cruelty of all the ethics questions as an excuse to leave office. Bottom line, she is an unethical fame seeking bitch that needs to be stopped. Plus, to be honest, it’s always bugged the shit out of me as a mother that she isn’t tending to the needs of her son, but using his down syndrome as an excuse for people to feel bad for her. Oh, and her oldest daughter is a slut.

Mark Sanford wins with all of this Michael Jackson bull shit and today the GOP censured him. What this all means is nothing and basically he gets away with jet-setting off to the beaches of love with his whore of a mistress and leaving an entire state, and his wife, trying to pick up the pieces of their confusion puzzles. South Carolina equals fail.

I hate people, I really do. Most people would rather bury their heads in the sand than inform themselves well enough to formulate an opinion and provide betterment for the future. They choose to ignore rather than inform because intelligence is just a little too hard. They accept the fear and the intolerance that has been driven into them and choose not to rise above. Unfortunately with options like Single Payer it will be too late when people decide to educate themselves because most likely it will be when their lobbyist loving private insurers deny their claims and they die bankrupt and angry because the people taking ‘care’ of them are only concerned with the fattening of their wallets.

/End Soap Box

the ins and outs of my weekend o bored relaxation

I hate to continue the commentary on it, but I have to remark on how ultimately tired and bored I am of hearing about the death of the 12 year old boy loving Michael Jackson. Do I believe he was an icon in his early years? Absolutely. I love Billie Jean and Thriller and many more, but the FREAK touched children. I know that certain aspects of life are pardoned upon death, but I just don’t feel like a full blown, four day media frenzy was (and is) really in order. There is so much going on all around the world and I really could care less what attention seeker is coming out of the woodworks now to add in their opinion on his death.

I was sorry to hear that Billy Mays passed away this weekend as I actually liked him for all of his outspoken craziness. Seems as if celebrities are dropping ‘like flies’ recently; or maybe people just die every single day and we choose which ones we care about. You decide.

Anywho, this weekend was relaxing and most enjoyable. I made dinner(s) for the family, O and I spent a bunch of time playing with The Gageous, and The Boys and I took RugRat to see UP yesterday. UP is an AWESOME movie, one I recommend highly. There was lots of adult humor mixed in with cute puppies the kids will love. SQUIRREL! Gage did really well for it being his first full length feature, only needing to be stood up and played with for about the last 15 minutes of the movie. I sat him down on his own chair at first, which he stayed on happily for 30 minutes, but I had to hold it down so the chair didn’t swallow him up. So cute!

Friday I took Gage to the Doctor and he came in measuring around 21.3 pounds and 30.3 inches. RugRat is still my little guy, but Doc says he looks very healthy and he is actually glad when kids come in around the skinny side of things. Everything else went really well and Doc let me choose to limit the amount of shots this round because I didn’t want much to add to the discomfort of his first MMR shot. So far, so good. Apparently the MMR shot can come with a fever and a rash, but we won’t see those effects until around the one week after mark. I hope he doesn’t have any side effects because it is 4th of July weekend and his Uncle Jess is in town to enjoy the Holiday with Family. He has been a bit grouchy since Friday with a touch of quiet today; I am hoping he feels more like himself tomorrow.

Just on a side note – I really wish they would have sent that crazy under-cooking dietician home this week on Next Food Network Star. I don’t like Teddy, but that chick undercook’s food, has really freaky eyes, and is a horrible speaker as well. I like a bunch of the people on this season and am excited to see them all fall apart next week when they meet up with Rachel Ray. Yes, I know, I am a total Food Network junkie. I am actually roping O and June into the shows with me and am happy to have people around who will talk about the shows, while still giving me reasonable amounts of crap for being a food nerd. They won’t put up too much of a fight anyway, since I am the source of all (and it’s a lot) their home-cooked meals.

This week is a lot of school (we just hid the mid semester range so midterms and tests galore) and then my brother, Jess gets in on Friday. I am excited for this weekend as I know it will be a lot of fun. O and I are still doing really well and continue to figure things out as we go. NM isn’t having much of a summer, but I am in no way complaining. I am a giant fan of cooler weather and monsoons. Anyone looking for a good CD that enjoys funky folk should pick up Gomez’s new CD, A New Tide. I can’t stop listening!! So good. :)

taking a ride on the punishment express

Long before my son was ever born I purchased him this train because I thought it looked like a toy I would like to play with if I were to ever be 6 months & up. I happily kept the train on display in his room as he made his way from lump, to rolling over creature, to sitting up without help baby, to crawling devious little person, and since he showed no interest at that time; it was displayed until he was a full-fledged cruising little toddler devil with needs and ideas of his (semi) own. At the cruising stage I brought the train out, pushed the little smoke stack dealie on the top, and as the train started moving across the ground singing happy Fisher Price like songs, my child went into a semi-panicked state and started screaming. Officially cementing in stone his personal love / hate relationship with the one toy I always thought he would just love / love. We now refer to said train as ‘The Freaky Train’.

Moving along. Gage plays with his train, but refuses to let it move along the ground. Sometimes, just to eff with the boy (or reclaim him to his room if he has toddled off) I will push the button that makes the train go and he will come running into the room to stop The Freaky Train from moving forward. Gage loves the songs the inside button plays and will happily let those occur, but the moment The Freaky Train sings the train moving song he becomes enraged.

The other day I was teaching Gage about placing objects on top of things using his Little People Farm: I was putting the Little Animals on top of the Farm, but because the roof curves you can only put 2 animals on it at a time. Gage has a multitude of Little Animals and decided that ALL of them needed to be on top of the Farm at the same time. He tried tirelessly to make this happen, becoming increasingly more frustrated as each Little Animal fell off the curved portion of the roof and to the ground. This madness continued for roughly 15 minutes with Gage getting angrier by the second. Gage became so frustrated with his Little Animals that he let out a sigh and got up from his Farm and pushed it over. He then proceeded to pick up his Little Animals, one at a time, and began placing them inside The Freaky Trains box-thingie (I don’t know what the hell it’s called!) After all the Little Animals were placed in The Freaky Train Gage gave them a stern look, walked to the front of the train, and pushed the button that makes The Freaky Train go. As the train started moving Gage screamed angrily at his animals and pointed at them in a manner that said ‘YOU MADE ME HAVE TO DO THIS. BAD. ANIMALS.’ I laughed so hard that I cried. My son punished an entire group of Little Animals in what his little toddler brain thinks is the worst place in the entire world. Brilliant.

Now when he gets mad at anything it is straight to The Freaky Train for a ride on the punishment express. If he is doing this already at 16 months I am terrified for myself as he gets older.

shit dips

Dear John Ensign and Mark Sanford :

Here's a frickin idea - KEEP YOUR PENIS IN YOUR DAMN PANTS! You aren't Joe Bob down the street, you are a PUBLIC FIGURE. People are watching your every move and expect you to be the upstanding person you told them you were. If you don't like your wife, if maybe she has become the cold fish she promised she never would be, even if you think that touting family values makes you exempt from being called out on your extramarital affairs – it’s still NOT okay. If you are unhappy, here’s an idea, get a fucking divorce. Now that you have gone and muddied your precious GOP even more, you have more importantly thrown your family under an emotional bus and thrown them into the type of limelight they never wanted to be in.

I don’t think your wives happily awaited the day that your political position would finally place them into the position of defense and that hard lined decision of, ‘do I leave him?’ Yes, Mrs. Ensign and Mrs. Sanford – YOU LEAVE HIM. It is not okay to have your husband screw other people, no matter if you oppose abortion, hate Bill Clinton (you fucking hypocrites, you), or call yourself a conservative (again, you fucking hypocrites, you). Stand up, be the strong women you have always thought yourselves to be, and run right down to the court house and file for divorce. Besides, you both know you are never going to love them again anyway. The only way you can save the little love you have left for yourself is to run. Run far away. (Same goes for you Mrs. Edwards … I always wanted to see you publicly defame your douche bag of a husband and perhaps kick him in the balls as you serve him divorce papers … my hatred for people that act this way knows no political lines.)

I think you are both giant douches. Oh, and Mr. Sanford, no one believes that you cried for 5 days in Argentina you fucking liar. You screwed your mistress and enjoyed the hell out of yourself. You are crying because you got CAUGHT. Stop thinking with your penis and think about the family that you just destroyed. Congratulations to both of you for destroying the very family values you claimed to care so much about. Resign, go away, and don’t pen a damn book about it because we don’t care.

I hate you both with every fiber of my being,

Kri

funk-style

I suppose a ‘Happy Father’s Day’ is in order, but since my Dad is in China we have placed the day on hold until next weekend. I feel very fortunate to have the Father that I do and am very thankful that he is in my life. Not only is my father a rock, but he is hilarious and incredibly awesome. I like to keep him down, so don’t tell him I am saying anything nice about him, but he really is the shit.

This weekend was a complete disaster as far as my emotions go, but sitting here on the couch relaxing with my Mom is very nice. I had dinner at Fat Squirrel with the Boys tonight and Gage was great. He gave me five seconds of calm and ate some french fries while the Growed-ups and I had a bit of conversation. June and I spent Saturday afternoon at the mall as I put myself through a round of retail therapy. The MAC counter is officially the greatest source of therapy in the world. I am in love with their new honey-bee collection and am happy to have some new goodness for my face.

Gage has begun the hitting stage of his terrible 16 months (like twos, but you know … EARLIER) and I am having a hard time teaching him that hitting is wrong. I will calmly take his hand and say ‘no’ after he smacks something, which sends him into a fit of laughter. Nothing makes Gage laugh more than the word ‘No’. Great. Since Gage isn’t talking AT ALL he communicates by pointing and screaming, which is difficult for both of us. I keep trying to get him to use his words, but he finds yelling at me much more effective. Plus, if he even acts like he may want something his Nana jumps to his aid without any hesitation. My patience level is reached on a daily basis, but I am hoping that we can quickly get through this phase so we can get to another one. I know that it is a child’s job to be frustrating, so I am not holding out much hope that ‘this too, shall pass.’ His ability to be adorable more than makes up for his ability to push my buttons and I always find myself watching him with nothing but love. He has some of the greatest facial expressions I have ever seen and I love to see and hear him laugh. Being a mother may be tough, but it is also extremely rewarding and fulfilling. I may bitch, but I love my Bug more than anything else in this entire world.

Back to another week of school and round two of the great spring house clean. My father returns from China shortly and this weekend we will celebrate him and next weekend we get Jess in town to enjoy the 4th of July. I am hoping that time goes by fast this week because I am already tired of it and it hasn’t even begun. Perhaps I am just afflicted with the blues this evening, so I am hoping I feel better tomorrow. Just like Will.I.Am said … ‘It’s a New Day.’

Happy Father’s Day to all of my Daddy friends out there. I hope you all had an amazing day. :)

a plea for help, sleep, and does anyone have a good thai yellow curry recipe? i am starving

I often wonder if my child is the only 16 month old boy alive that absolutely hates to get dirty. I took him outside to finger paint the other day and as soon as I placed his fingers in the paint he went into shock and started trying to wipe the paint off. Upon learning that this wiping motion actually created more mess, he looked at me as if the world had just turned itself upside down and he burst out into tears. I have taught Gage the fine art of ‘brushing it off’ which has branched itself off into working for a myriad of situations including when he falls, when he becomes suddenly angry with his 16 month old existence, and just when I need a good laugh. We went to the water and brushed the paint off of his hands and peace was restored to the Earth. I gave him a paint brush, to which he responded surprisingly well, and we went on to paint mess free outside for quite some time. Gage has an impressive set of motor skills that continuously amaze me.

Last night the little RugRat woke up at 2:00 and proceed to cry, scream, whimper, and do everything but sleep until about 45 minutes ago (or noon, as I like to call it.) I would find this all more trying to my patience level if I didn’t know he was just preparing me for his teenage years. Poor little guy has struggled with teething, leaving me to believe that he doesn’t actually have any more teeth to grow, but all of the pain that comes with them. I don’t know how teeth magically appear, but I would like to have a sit down meeting with the stupid fucking tooth fairy so I can punch her in her tooth fairy face. Perhaps it could be the lack of sleep that makes me so friskin angst(y) today.

This weekend my Father is off to China, leaving my mother to start making task lists and me trying to find the closest dark corner to hide in, one that allows a lot of room for rocking and mumbling obscenities. As much as I love the end result of a nice week of spring cleaning, I rather hate the labor intensive structure surrounding it. I am currently taking applications for a ‘stunt’ double that will clean everything my Mother puts in front of them. You will be paid in ice cream and the victory of a job well done. People that can’t handle a woman with severe OCD and the need for constant conversation, even if you are not even in ear range, need not apply. I will cook dinners and listen to you whenever you need to tell me that my Mom is crazy, but loveable crazy, but crazy, because hey … I know. She loves nothing more than her husband travelling off to distant countries she less than likes. Plus, it doesn’t help that every time he leaves the country CNN chooses to tell her THAT DAY that something terrible is wrong with whatever country he is in. Thanks again, CNN.

The devil has arisen. I brisk 45 minute nap and he has returned to a very toddler agenda. Right now the agenda involves standing up just to sit down so he can stand up and do it all over again. I am going to try and go find something that pleases the Prince so he will actually eat lunch. I just feel like his diet needs more in it than Mac and Cheese and carrots, much to his chagrin.

less like zest fully clean and more like the name brand soap that gives you a rash

I have become addicted to all things news related. I find myself flipping through all television channels, all websites, and all of our radio stations to just hear or read what people are saying. I do this because I am a masochist and I love to be enraged. I find myself sitting very much on the ‘liberal’ side of life, but I like to listen to every side because I don’t believe anyone gets anywhere by just knowing one side. Most of my drives home from school involve me screaming in my car at (or with) whichever person is speaking at the moment. I love the right wing radio because they are like the craziest effing hate mongers in the world and I find myself laughing at all things idiot.

This morning as I was getting ready for school my Mother was listening to her usual ‘source’ of information (dubbed the Communist News Network by my beloved Brother-in-law), CNN. CNN was reporting on the tragic death of a pilot while in the air this morning. Nothing surrounding their report was care or concern for the family’s tragic loss of a loved one, but this generic fear script of, ‘the weather is slipping, visibility is poor, will the aircraft really make it!?’ ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? The people sitting beside the late pilot are well trained in aircraft control. There isn’t a giant ‘pick a co-pilot’ lottery day that allows novices to fly multi-fucking-billion dollar aircrafts. IDIOTS.

Instead of compassion, we are instilled with fear. Instead of a sense of community, we are surrounded by people that want to keep the great hate machine going. With the recent tragic deaths of innocent people (i.e. the lives lost after the announcement of President Obama, the late Dr. Tiller, and the unfortunate events at the Holocaust museum by that nut job ‘Neo Nazi.” Oh, and you know, WAR) it is hard to respect anyone in the media that can continue the trend of fear mongering its listeners. Instead of hate speech, we should be speaking about what could be. Instead of a great divide, we need to seek a common ground. I know I sound all hippie bull shit, but what is your solution? How do we get past the fear and the hate and garner a sense of community? Where does partisanship end and a solution begin?

Anywho. I will hop off my soap box. I am going to go watch the Backyardigans with my son and forget about CNN telling me that ‘TODAY IS THE DAY WE GO TO WAR WITH NORTH KOREA. Really, it’s today. Did we say that yesterday, because we meant today.’

Assholes.

side cheese

There used to be a moment in time where I didn’t think myself strong enough or capable enough. There used to be moments in my time that I would let doubt infiltrate every sense of being I had and I would let weaker people keep me down because I just didn’t feel as if I deserved better. There was a moment in time recently that I realized that I do, indeed, deserve the best. And, that the best person to give me just that was *me*. Today I feel strong and confident and ready to take on whatever this world throws at me. I thank my Family and my Son for helping me see the light behind my own eyes, finally.

Yes, this has something to do with something, but the something seems rather unimportant at this moment.

The RugRat had a cold this week, but he and his kick ass immune system kicked it in two days and now he is happily back to himself. I was thinking that the weather might be a bit better today so we could get out to finger paint, but that will have to wait until this weekend. I finally weaned him from his ‘Pooh Tub’ (a toddler tub he refused to be without) this weekend and now the RugRat actually takes baths in a real bath tub (a reality that his Nana is not willing to accept as she wishes he would stay miniature forever.) His tantrum throwing skills have reaching full potential lately as well, with him running up and smacking whatever is closest if he doesn’t get his way. My baby books tell me that since he is going through the tantrum phase at such an early age, that he will be less likely to have really ‘terrible’ twos. I understand that his tantrums are merely him trying to find his own place in this world. I love him regardless of anything he could do, anyway. :)

I finally did the chop chop on my hair and I am thrilled with the results. (Picture can be found to the right as a posting time, and in my Flickr there-after.) The guy that cuts my hair is absolutely Fabooosh.

Life is going really well. I am loving Summer semester. Home life is going awesome. The BoyFriend is absolutely amazing. Family is still awesomeballs. Gage is the best thing that ever happened to my life. And Monsoon season in NM is my absolute fav. I have no complaints. I have no negativities. I welcome what life throws at me and am happy to see where life takes me in the next little while.

these are the moments ...

shhhh... internet land. all is asleep. i have a beautiful baby boy with a cold one room away from me, sleeping as soundly as can be. i worry for the (tonight) future, but i also welcome the chance to be there. i had always wondered, as a woman with no children, if that cry in the middle of the night would be a burden - but i can honestly tell you that it is not. again, as with anything else gage, i tell you - bring it on! i love him with the truest and most honest depths of my heart. i will be there no matter what and i will do it with a smile upon my face - because THAT is what love means. the only regret i have is contracting the evil virus that has brought us both the 'warm' (i refuse to call it the c*old in the heat of 'summer').

10 episodes of backyardigan's and day of cuddling later my love is only stronger. being a mother is the greatest blessing ... ever.

<3 my RugRat.

no matter how many time i hit myself in the head the backyardigans theme song is still stuck in there

I have been meaning to update this here internet space for the past few days, but I have been busy doing things like life and haven’t had the time. I guess I have had the time, but have filled that time with other things like school and spending time with the younger generation. The younger generation is gone now and the school is done for the week, so I will try my damndest to actually use my keyboard in a constructive manner. All I seem able to do as of late is check my Facebook and email inappropriate things the O and June.

The past few weeks have been exhausting, but well received and intentioned. The kids enjoyed their visit here and I feel like we got some quality time to discuss things like the future, proper ways to avoid catching the Hep and the Hiv, and how to correctly dispel rumors that you are the type of person that has feelings and shit like that. Now that they have returned to the Valley of Salt Lakes I feel myself a calmer individual and am happy to have my space back. Having visitors is a laborious task.

My son is doing amazing, as always. I have officially weaned him off the bottle and off of formula almost all together. We have one bottle before bed now, but that is all. This weaning activity has actually led him to be a better food processor. Wait, no, he isn’t actually plug inable, but he is a much better eater these days. Instead of one meal, I can actually get three. Brilliant. Gage still isn’t really talking, but he has a mean bark and is great at alerting me to people outside. Mostly he has taken on the traits of our dogs and instead of talking he barks. Barking. No, seriously. I always thought that I would have a child that was willing to cultivate the English language, but instead I have a child that thinks he needs to alert me every time a car drives by, by running to the window and barking. I don’t know if I am filled with pride or the need to run out and buy him a wee bit of Alpo and a collar.

Gage has an obsession with Rubber Ducks that may or may not be getting slightly out of hand because of his Nana Sooz. Gage will bathe with his ducks in the evening, and retrieve them from the bathroom the next morning in order to obsess over them all day long. The Ducks are carried from room to room and are always lined up in order when placed upon a table or a bench. There are so many hints of OCD already peaking through his little 16 month old body that I am sometimes concerned, but mostly just engrossed. He climbs on everything, is working on climbing out of his crib, and is a constant reminder that children who climb are the scariest sorts of children around. I live in fear of him cracking his adorable, yet giant, noggin open. I have taken to random gasps and fearful noises. I try not to hinder his innate abilities and curiosities, but I truly feel like this is all taking years off of my life.

Yesterday Gage threw an impressive 15 minute tantrum in order to remind me that he is, in fact, a toddler. I am not a big fan of the tantrums, but I find myself laughing at him when he throws them because the drama is actually hilarious. The laughing at him only makes him madder and more tantrum-y, which perpetuates the cycle. I know that our years of battles are just beginning and I look forward to the day he freaks out in a store and everyone stares at me because my kid just became ‘that’ kid. Bring it on.

This weekend is going to be a relaxing combination of man movies and fights on Saturday night and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Sooz is out of town and The Boys and I have total run of all things Home. Last night my Dad and I ate big frickin steaks and stayed up past our bedtime and it was brilliant amounts of fun and goodness. I am hoping that Franklin doesn’t kill the ppv like he normally does and the fights are epic this weekend. No matter what, it will be awesome. I am excited.

a blog in which i blame my sister for all of my life problems (at the moment, that is)

Frog Watch – Day 3 : A day in which I wished all the batteries in the house would suddenly stop working.

This all started on Thursday afternoon. Perhaps it started because Gage felt the home a little too silent with Nana being gone. Perhaps it started because Gage felt the need to push my sanity to the brink. Perhaps it started because he is 15 months old. No one will ever know for sure.

Thursday started out like most don’t. The parents packed up their Mustang and headed out the door to the awful state of Utah in order to attend the ‘most boring high school graduation ever.’ I should have known that something bad was going to happen because the silence was far too enjoyable to describe. Seriously. Beautiful, beautiful silence. It was almost like getting one latte for free with the other latte you buy and being able to drink two, delicious, lattes (which, incidentally, has never truly happened to me, but now I wish it would because if anything is better than a quad; it is two quads.)

Amidst a sea of close to a billion toys Gage located the dreaded Leap Frog (a present given to him by his Aunt Brook in what I have now understood as a gesture of hatred) and squealed with delight. Upon pressing his belly, Leap happily exclaimed, “HELLO! I’m LEAP! Let’s sing the ABC song” and he did … he sang the shit out of the ABC song and Gage found that to be glorious. Maybe Gage likes Leap because he is simple and straightforward and that little fucking Frog NEVER lies. Every time you press his belly he lets you know that he is going to be singing the ABC song and he does. EVERY. TIME. YOU. PRESS. HIS. BELLY. Which, Gage loves to do. He loves to do it so much that he does it over and over and over and over again. In fact, if he feels the Frog is too far away he will travel to another room to obtain Leap and bring him to whatever room we are in so we can continue to learn the damn ABC sing, just in case we forgot what order the stupid letters go in.

Friday we began the Leap process again, but this time Gage’s brilliant little mind added in a new element. Gage’s Hittin’ Sticks (his plastic golf clubs, which he ADORES) are used as tools for Gage. The Hittin’ Sticks can be used to punish the dogs for a variety of reasons that Gage so sees fit, they can be used to whack people with (which fucking HURTS!), and they can be used to smack things around and generally cause damage to all that is the world of Gage: clever little minx that he is. Friday the Hittin’ Sticks became a tool that could quickly make Leap sing the ABC’s without Gage having to go through the daunting task of bending down to press upon his belly. This new feature of extension via plastic golf club representations made it possible for Gage to quickly run up and press Leap so he could continue once again in song while Gage set out upon his path of toddle destruction. Brilliant. I hate that fucking frog.

Today, oh glorious today. Gage, being the devil that he is, has had quite the epiphany. If Gage gathers all of his noisy toys as closely as possible together, he can use his Hittin’ Stick to make the entire toy collection make noise AT ONCE. Meaning that the ball poppy outtie thing can be playing the classic tune ‘Rockin Robin’, his topsy turvy Penguin can be wacked to spin around and go ‘WOAH WOAH WOAH’ and play obnoxious music, his mock car can be hit to make “vroom vroom’ and ‘BEEP BEEP’ sounds, and in the meantime, and all the while, Leap can once again give his stupid Frog definition of that DAMN ABC SONG. Seriously – Frogs can’t even fucking TALK, so how in the world can they sing. That Frog is the devil incarnate, I am absolutely positive about it.

My Sister is also a scheming bastard and cannot be trusted. Don’t let her buy your children toys – you will want to stick knives in your ears.

monkey business

My son, a man of very little words, has become a man of a few words and the ability to make the greatest dino-rawr sounds of all time. I am officially going to consider his second word (the first being Mama, which he has been saying for months) ‘RAWR!’ because it’s absolutely hilarious how well he acts like a dino-rawr. He runs around the house rawring and growling and inciting huge amounts of laughter into my everyday life. His second word came shortly after finding the dino-rawr within and was gestured at his favorite toys – his rubber ducks. The Monkey calls them ‘digs’ and laughs whenever he does it, like the noises falling out his mouth are pure magic. In the last two days he has said ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘digs’, ‘rawr’, and ‘Gi’. If you ask him who Gage is he will point at himself and say, ‘Gi’. I love it :)



Right now RugRat is sitting in front of the television completely wrapped up in the obsession that is Finding Nemo. I always start the show with the part where Nemo jumps out and says ‘First day of school, first day of school!’ all I have to do is repeat those words in front of Gage and he will run shrieking with delight into the family room and point to the TV. We are also having a battle of wills with food and I am afraid to say that the little bastard is winning. Gage absolutely refuses to try new foods and is resistant to even eating lunch or dinner sometimes. I know this is natural, but it is a real pain in my butt sometimes. There are a few select foods he will always eat, but if what I put in front of him doesn’t look like something he wants – he just won’t eat. I have tried EVERYTHING. Today I gave him pizza (which he normally loves) but he refused. He didn’t want anything to do with the peas and carrots because (GASP! God Forbid!!) They came mixed together. I just gave him some Mac and Cheese and it looks like I might have solved the lunch time equation. Go team Mom.


The image today is being replaced by this fabulous video of Gage being the cutest little Dino-Rawr in the world. <3 my son.

the life of a superhero is not mine at all

My return to the land of education has been going swimmingly. I quite enjoy the classes I have this semester (for the most part.) My sexing class is pretty much total OWN and I am actually enjoying learning about cell division and covalent bonding. School keeps me quite busy and in the middle of studying and schooling I find that having a psychotic toddler is quite the time slayer. There really isn’t much quiet in my life at the moment and I rather like it that way.

The RugRat is awesome, per usual. He has learned how to climb and loves to do so on anything and everything he can find. His Grampa turned a real life sailing boat into a sand box for The RugRat and he has LOVED climbing all over it and playing in the sand. The kid has serious needs for outside time. We brought up the fountain a few weeks ago and Munchkin likes to play a game with our dog, Nikki, in which he throws all of her toys in the water and she refuses to get them, but stresses and stresses about the fact that all of her balls are in the water. When Nikki jumps up on the ledge to fret about the water to ball ratio, Munchkin will smack her and laugh at her with the most maniacal of tone. He loves to chase the dogs around with his ‘hittin sticks’ (aka, plastic golf clubs) and enjoys a daily dose of taunting and breaking our dogs down emotionally. I never knew that 16 month old children could actually be so devilish. I forget his age often because it just doesn’t feel like he is THAT young. I love him. I love having him in my life. I love playing with him and hearing him laugh. Pretty much I am a total sucker for all things RugRat.

Other than the Munchkin things have been not as awesome as they were a few weeks ago, but I am feeling solid about the return to awesome-ville, so we shall see. I have been battling one hell of a UTI / bladder infection and the meds the doctor put me on make me dispense food from my throat and mouth in the most violent of matters. RugRat does, on the other hand, find me throwing up hilarious and will chase me into the bathroom and laugh as I do so. My brother, June, finds this whole process hilarious and it makes me want to punch him in his stupid corporate whore face. Just sayin.

O has been back home to attend the funeral of his Grandfather. I miss him and am happily awaiting his arrival tomorrow. Turns out I have feelings, which is something completely foreign to me in many of my previous relationships. Normally I enjoy the sounds of people not being around, but I find that he compliments me quite well in person. I, up until this point, had found myself to be a soul-less ball of emotional obscurity, but it turns out the right person can make all the difference in the world. I think my heart shall breathe a great big sigh of relief when his plane touches down tomorrow.

The weather here in New Mexico has been rainy and breezy and I have loved every minute of it. The last two years I was totally screwed out of an awesome Monsoon Season, but this year I am crossing my fingers for torrential down-poors and lightning storms that I may sit out and enjoy. The other night after my sexing class had ended I went over to The Boys home to sit on their patio and enjoy the sights and sounds of an amazing thunder / lightning storm and was over-joyed to be in that moment. Summer storms set my heart afire with happiness. Speaking of that night – I also caught the end of ‘Taken’ and highly suggest it to anyone that enjoys a good action flick; that movie was frickin awesome city.

This weekend will bring relaxation with My Boys (O, June, and RugRat specifically). I plan on making dinners, playing in the sunshine, and movies at night. I am looking forward to the peace and calm. I leave you with one of my favorite pictures – this is RugRat taunting a very sad Nikki who want nothing more than to play ball in her nice, big yard. I love my son. :)

In which I return

Dear Internet :

This is an apology letter wrapped inside of a great big ‘I told you so.’ I suck at blogging consistency. In all fairness my life has been nothing short of gale force winds. I turned 28, continued raising my amazing yet toddlerish son, got a 4.0 in school, and had an amazing trip to Moab with O and the family. I couldn’t, at any time during the craziness of the last month, find any time to sit down and continue with this blog. Now, here I sit in the middle of the afternoon watching my son eat and watch Finding Nemo (again, for the third day in a row. die. Disney. DIE.) and instead of doing school work I am saying hello to you. Hello.

I am sorry I abandoned you. I hope you aren’t feeling the pangs of past regret or fear. I hope that suddenly you didn’t remember about the time that dad forgot to pick you up from soccer practice, or mom left you at the grocery store. I hope that this doesn’t bring up feelings of running for a school bus that you will never catch. I will try to do better, but apparently my suckage knows no bounds. Once my semester break is over I will be back in school for 40 hours a week with the homework that comes along with it. My books arrived today and my bio science class alone is a 6 text book class. I almost fell over and died when I realized that I have to read so much about shit I really don’t care about. I mean, I am an English major – why would I give two shits about amoebas and molecular compounds of biological life? I curse you bio science – I curse you!!

Things in life are going very well despite the insanity of the daily grind. RugRat is a maniac that loves the outdoors and knows how to throw a mean tantrum if he doesn’t get his way (which usually results in him getting his way if Nana is around.) O is amazing and we are having a lot of fun together. I am excited for summer semester and am hoping to keep my 4.0 a constant theme. I am hoping the RugRat finds love for another movie, but his fascination with fish is astounding. I love watching RugRat progress daily and am always amazed at how smart he is. Watching children figure things out is pretty much the coolest experience ever. He turned 15 months the other day and is already doing things at an 18 month old level. Cool ass little dude he is, indeed.

So I am sorry and I will try harder, but I can’t keep any promises. I am taking any suggestions that anyone has for movies that a 15 month old will find enjoyable. Anyone? Anyone?

- Kri

when you want red AND green ... you call it Christmas

See? I totally suck. Yesterday got away from me. I spent the night outside by the fire chatting life up with my Father instead of playing on the internet. I love the internet, but I love spring and outside as well and warm weather will always pull a trump card on technology. So much for blogging every day in April – I just have too much going on. I will continue, though, with my ‘growing up’ theme as I have rather come to admire the thought process involved in the posts.

I am tempted to blog about my mother, but I am sitting at Flying Star (enjoying the most AWESOME huevos rancheros … frisckin delicious!) and I know that writing about her would involve some form of teary eyed girl bull shit, so I will put that off for now. In an ode to my favorite restaurant (The Flying Star) and the delicious Red Chili I am currently shoveling into my mouth hole, I am going to write about my beloved New Mexico. How, you might ask, does an entire land of disenchantment play a role in the freaky girls push to emotional adult-hood? Sit back, put on your reading glasses, and try not to fall asleep. Sometimes my words can be like cool jazz and before you know it, you are passed out with your pants down and I am walking away satisfied as hell.

My first move to NM was done quickly and with good reason. I was involved in a marriage to a person with less than stellar qualities. I had lost myself in his craziness and in an instant realized that if I didn’t get out I may never be able to save myself. My parents, knowing that I needed to get far away from Captain Sociopath, gave me the fast track to the land of Indian Casinos – and I bit, hard. Within weeks of the blow-out to end all blow-outs I had all of my shit packed up and was making the 10 hours drive to my parents’ home. Within a month of that I was enrolled in college and picking up the pieces of my life. I came to New Mexico with no real understanding of my own identity and this red dirt and these strong winds formed the awesome person I am now.
I love it here. I love the people, the scenery, the family I have. I am doing better here than I have ever done anywhere else and I can recognize that about myself. For the longest while in my life I doubted everything and let myself make dumb fucking decision after dumb fucking decision, but here, here in New Mexico, I do well. I am kicking school’s ass, O and I are involved in something very healthy and positive, I take care of my RugRat and love him with all of my heart, I am there for my family and do what is needed to help our home run, and I am a friend to some of the greatest people I have ever known. Sure, the crime rate is high and people like to get loaded and drive around, but if you stay off the roads at night and stick to the Westside, you will be fine (total joke, kind of.)

I don’t think this is my end-all-be-all home state, but I know that when (and if) I leave here, I will miss it terribly. Every day I leave school I take the same road home – 55 miles an hour, windows rolled down, stereo blazing, Sandia Mountains and all the scenery of our small city laid out in front of my eyes – and as I drive I smile and I breathe a little easier, because my heart is here and I couldn’t imagine a better place in life to be.

(Oh and, by the way, those huevos rancheros were fucking AWESOME!) Enjoy your day.

stussy

I have to be honest: I suck at blogging. I have this tendency to start and stop a project within close proximity. This is probably my fifth or sixth ‘blog’, but I have a reign of terror over on LJ that cannot be stopped. I attribute my ability for success on LJ to the close-knit community I keep. I allow maybe five people to see what is going on in my life, and keep the rest of my emotions for nights of intense imbibe.

I was sitting at home, working on my homework, when my father came home tonight. Yes, I have already commented on what a large part in ‘growing up’ my family has had, but my father is (much like my mother) an exception to the rule. My mother married my father when I was 12, and he stepped in my life to play the greatest single role a person (aside from my son) has ever played. My father is a strong man, full of honesty and character, unlike anyone I have ever known. The first day I met my father was in a park, with my ill-tempered kitty cat, over a round of Subway sandwiches. He sent me flowers the next day and, within 6 months time, was married to my Mother.

My brother, sister, and I were not invited to the wedding. The judge that presided over their marriage was the same judge that divorced my mother from her previous husband (a.k.a. – the sperm donor.) I was allowed to take the day off of school, but only because my mother knew I was excited. Most children in divorced families have some sort of, ‘what does it all mean’ feeling when it comes to their parent’s new spouse, but I never felt that. From the moment I met my Dad, I knew who he was and I have always loved him as such.

My Dad, he has this way. He understands my Mother and he loves her for all of her intricacies and beauties. He has always taken the time to listen, to talk, and to be there in every possible way. I am thankful for the chance to have him in my life and I have become a supreme advocate of proper divorce because of the success of my parents’ marriage. My father (and Mother, but that is a soon to be entry) give me hope in possibility. Sure, their love is entirely farfetched with a side of inability, but they make their downfalls their bitch and he shows up every day to be the man he is.

Anytime I have ever needed anyone, my Father is there. When my voice is tired from spewing bullshit I don’t mean, my Father is there. When I have no clue what I am even trying to say or do, my Father is there. When I need a hand, a pick-me-up, or just some good old fashioned conversation: my Father is there. He is the type of guy that everyone needs in their life and, yet, still has a hard time accepting. I have fought his advice often, but have always gone back to his wisdom as the still, small voice inside of me.

Without my Father’s love, I would not be me. I would have no idea where my ass is from a hole in the ground. I feel as if he took my little family and made them all that we could be. Yes, as the old cliché G.I. Joe American Hero … he stands, and I am happy to see my dear Mother stand beside him. After my Father comes home from a long day of work, tired as can be, he still shows up. Tonight he took my son to play, helped me with my econ homework, and took my Mom to bed to be with the woman he loves. I think that we all too often take the most important people in our life for granted, and I am tired of being this person. So, to my Father, I thank you. Thank you for giving me every opportunity to succeed, If I ever, EVER, make it in this world; it is because you and my Mom gave me this chance. Thank you, for not giving up, but for helping me Grow Up. I love you.

my dad:

time difference?

The time is currently 1:30 am and I am wondering if this still counts as April, 4th; it's going to have to because I just didn't have time tonight, until now, to write. Even at that I am finding it hard to pick a choice in my 'growing up' theme as I have nothing but a lot of friskin awesomeness inside.

I will make this short and to the point so I can make myself in bed and to the sleep. One of the things in my life that I feel has pushed me in a positive growing up position has been my family. My family helps me see the best versions of myself and also the worst. My family isn'f afraid to tell it like it is or put me in my place. Without them, I wouldn't be anywhere near who I am. My family is full of amazing people that I respect more than anyone else in this world. I am so thankful to all of them for helping me be a better version of me.

I promise - I will make up for this tomorrow(ish.) Goodnight, internet.

these mouths that munch

This may sound strange, but I feel as if an integral part of my ‘growing up’ has been honing in on my cooking skills and using them on a daily basis. I look forward to every weekend in our home because it means I get to plan and prepare a meal for a large group of my friends and family. Sunday dinners have become somewhat of a spectacle around here and having the ability to please everyone with something new every week has been a fun and learning experience for me. During the week I take care of the house by preparing dinners and making sure everyone is satiated. I relish the compliments and thrive off of silence, because I know that means I have outdone myself. I love taking care of my family and making sure that everyone is happy and filled to the brim with goodness.

Tonight O and June are coming over because June is leaving town for a few days. Gatherings prior to leavings are a must. On the menu tonight are margaritas, plantains with black beans, orange cilantro chicken fajitas with tons and tons of grilled peppers and toe-maters. I am pretty damn excited for the goodness.

My post today may be a tad bit on the ‘lackluster’ side, but with reason. My little man and I are spending the entire day together adventuring and playing. I am just waiting for him to get up from his nap so we can take this show on the road. There will be much visiting and definitely some StarBuck’s goodness. I am excited. I love weekends because it means three days to be with The RugRat. I am off. Enjoy your Friday.